The New Topping Book

by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The New Topping Book is a comprehensive, ethics-centered guide to topping in BDSM, written for anyone who takes on roles involving power, control, or giving sensation. Building on the legacy of the original Topping Book, this updated edition reflects the realities of modern kink culture, including online dynamics, evolving relationship structures, and a deeper focus on safety, consent, and care.

Easton and Hardy approach topping not as dominance for its own sake, but as a skillful, intentional practice that requires emotional awareness, communication, and responsibility. The book explores how to negotiate scenes, build trust, manage risk, and care for both partners—before, during, and after play. It also addresses the unique challenges and rewards of lifestyle dynamics, long-term power exchange, and navigating authority without losing empathy or accountability.

Accessible, warm, and grounded in decades of community experience, The New Topping Book reframes topping as an active role rooted in ethics, presence, and mutual pleasure.

Why I recommend this book

I recommend The New Topping Book because good topping is about care, not control alone. This is a book I often suggest to people who feel pressure to “have it all figured out” as a top, or who worry that asking questions or setting boundaries undermines their authority. It offers clear guidance on safety, consent, and emotional responsibility while affirming that tops are allowed to learn, grow, and need support too. Paired with The New Bottoming Book, it’s one of the most solid foundations for ethical, connected kink play.