The New Bottoming Book

by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The New Bottoming Book is a classic, updated guide to the art, skill, and emotional labor of bottoming in BDSM. First published in the early 1990s, the original Bottoming Book helped reframe bottoming as an active, intentional role rather than a passive one. This revised edition expands that work to reflect the evolution of kink culture, online communities, and modern understandings of power, consent, and communication.

Written by longtime kink educators Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, the book explores what it means to bottom as a submissive, masochist, slave, “boy” or “girl,” or other recipient of power and sensation. Topics include identifying your desires and limits, negotiating scenes, building resilience, navigating emotional vulnerability, and advocating for your needs before, during, and after play. The book emphasizes that good bottoming requires awareness, communication, and self-knowledge—and that these skills make you not only a safer partner, but a more fulfilled one.

Accessible and affirming, The New Bottoming Book is relevant for beginners and experienced players alike who want to deepen their understanding of their role and their agency within BDSM dynamics.

Why I recommend this book

I recommend The New Bottoming Book because it validates something many people aren’t taught: bottoming is skilled, intentional work. This is a book I often suggest to folks who feel unsure about their desires or worry that needing structure, care, or aftercare makes them “bad” at kink. It offers language for agency, boundaries, and emotional processing that’s useful far beyond BDSM scenes. Thoughtful, practical, and still incredibly relevant, this book helps bottoms claim their power with confidence.