by Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton
The Ethical Slut is a foundational text for understanding consensual non-monogamy, and this fully revised third edition reflects the realities of modern relationships, language, and community. Long considered the “poly bible,” the book moves beyond rules and labels to focus on the core skills that make any relationship work: communication, emotional honesty, boundaries, and care.
Hardy and Easton explore a wide range of nontraditional relationship structures, from polyamory and open relationships to arrangements that challenge common assumptions about cohabitation, sex, and commitment. This edition includes interviews with younger poly folks, tributes to early pioneers, updated discussions of jealousy and conflict resolution, and new sidebars addressing asexuality, sex work, LGBTQ terminology, power differences, and cross-orientation relationships. Throughout, the authors emphasize ethics over ideology—centering consent, integrity, and mutual respect.
Approachable, practical, and deeply validating, The Ethical Slut remains a go-to resource for anyone curious about or actively practicing non-monogamy, as well as monogamous readers who want stronger relationship skills.
Why I recommend this book
I recommend The Ethical Slut because it teaches people how to do relationships with intention, not just how to have multiple partners. This is a book I often suggest to folks who are questioning monogamy, navigating jealousy, or trying to communicate more honestly about desire and boundaries. Even readers who ultimately choose monogamy tend to find the tools in this book transformative. It’s less about being a “slut” and more about being ethical, self-aware, and compassionate; skills that serve any relationship style.
