The Come As You Are Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Science of Sex

By Emily Nagoski

The Come As You Are Workbook is a hands-on companion to Emily Nagoski’s groundbreaking bestseller Come As You Are, created for readers who want to move from insight to practice. Grounded in research on sexual response, desire, and emotional context, this workbook helps translate science into real-life tools for understanding your body and your sex life.

Rather than treating sexuality as mechanical or goal-oriented, Nagoski centers the role of stress, mood, trust, body image, and emotional safety in shaping pleasure and desire. Through worksheets, journaling prompts, illustrations, and practical examples, the workbook invites readers to explore concepts like accelerators and brakes, responsive desire, and sexual wellbeing in a way that feels personal and adaptable. The focus is not on “fixing” yourself, but on recognizing that you are already sexually whole—and learning how to create conditions that support pleasure.

This workbook is well-suited for individual reflection, therapy, or coaching support, and anyone looking to deepen their relationship with their body at a sustainable, compassionate pace.

Why I recommend this book

I recommend The Come As You Are Workbook because it gives people language and structure for things they’ve often blamed themselves for such as low desire, inconsistency, or feeling disconnected from pleasure. This is a resource I often suggest for folks who loved the original book but wanted more concrete ways to apply the concepts in daily life. It’s especially supportive for people navigating stress, burnout, chronic illness, or major life transitions, because it reframes desire as contextual rather than broken. It’s practical, affirming, and deeply relieving for many readers.