Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Science of Desire Book

Highlights

• Science-backed guide to desire, arousal, and sexual wellbeing
• Reframes "normal" so readers can stop comparing themselves to a standard that doesn't exist
• Updated edition includes new material on mindfulness, emotional regulation, and pleasure

If you've ever wondered why you want sex sometimes and not others, why context seems to matter more than anything else, or why the way desire works for you doesn't match what you see in movies or hear about from friends, this book was written for you. Emily Nagoski is a sex educator and researcher, and this is her flagship work. It's warm, funny, and clarifying in ways that a lot of sex ed never managed to be.

The big idea at the heart of the book is that desire isn't just about a gas pedal. There's also a brake, and most of us spend a lot of time accidentally pressing it without realizing. Nagoski walks through the neuroscience and psychology behind arousal, explains why stress, body image, trust, and safety all play such a significant role, and makes a compelling case that understanding your own system is more useful than trying to match someone else's.

Educator's Note

This book is particularly valuable for people who have experienced sexual trauma, chronic stress, or body shame, as Nagoski addresses these directly and compassionately. The framework of responsive versus spontaneous desire is also useful for anyone who has felt broken or mismatched with a partner.

Specs

• Format: paperback
• Author: Emily Nagoski
• Edition: revised and updated
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster

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